This day just took a drastic turn for the worse. I went to blow out my candle while putting in my contacts (smart move, I know). However, because I am basically legally blind without my glasses on and naturally needed to see this candle, I go too close to the damn thing and proceeded to blow hot wax into my face.

Yes... Into. My. Face.

So I'm screaming, and then laughing at myself. All while trying to keep track of the contact on my finger and make sure that I don't have to do the blind one-eyed search for the invisible thing on the carpet.

Sigh.

Currently eating: baby carrots

I'm trying to get my life in order, but instead I spent the entire day sleeping... or sobbing so hard to the last half hour of Terms of Endearment that I thought my body was going to crack.

February does weird things to my brain.

Papa John's is still emailing me.

Currently eating: Domino's pizza with grilled chicken and green peppers

I'm not even sure I can talk about what happened last night without going into hysterics. During the conclusion of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, the one and only Ramona Singer (from New York) retweeted my retweet + commentary of something SHE said regarding Taylor's sad-sack of a husband, Russell. Whew. You follow that? No? Excellent. I was RAMOTIONAL, clearly. Mainly because Ramona is one of my all-time favorite Housewives with a capital H. I can't even really explain why. I mean, I can explain, but it would take 17,894 words to express all of my intense feelings, so I'll spare you. Or we can watch the New York premiere together on February 15th, your pick.

HOWEVER, THINGS GET EVEN BETTER JUST WAIT. After each commercial break, Bravo was showing tweets about the reunion... AND THEY PICKED A TWEET I POSTED. I LOST IT. COMPLETELY. LAUGHING CRYING DANCING POOPING ALL OF THOSE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. I wrote about Kyle and Kim and family and love and obviously no one at Bravo is straight so all of those emotions made everyone's heart melt and they picked me. THEY PICKED ME.

I've decided I'm a Z-list celebrity, so thank Bravo slash Andy Cohen slash the Housewives for that incredible boost in my ego.

I expected strangers to treat me differently today. They didn't.

I've done so many amazing things on Facebook today that I'm just sitting in my room and laughing at myself. This sort of kills two birds with one stone, because it is also a wonderful procrastination tool for not doing my laundry and not researching the Angel Bethesda. Maybe that's three birds, I don't know.

Lydia Davis is currently on the brain 24-sev, along with Adele (duh) and My So-Called Life. Go read her short story A Few Things Wrong with Me, and then come back to thank me later.

I am so fucking hungry I could eat a large elephant. However, I am holding off until 6:00pm so I can eat dinner at a reasonable time (thanks, Mom) and yet still have a snack at 10:00pm. Because at 10:00pm the second part of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion airs, and there is no way I can get through this super-sized special without eating my feelings a little. Or maybe drinking some wine.

It is now February (!!!), which is my birthday month and the shortest month, thereby making it the best month of the year. If you need more reasons for such an outrageous claim, I'll talk to you later because I'm too tired to deal with naysayers.

The weather is disgusting, but my heart will go on.

Perez is down and therefore my mental stability is on edge.

I have so much reading to do I simply cannot watch the PLL repeat tonight. That option is not even on the table. This is putting my mental stability through dire straights.

I told Papa John's I no longer wanted emails from them, and yet they sent me two today. Two. This is causing my entire body to go into convulsions and desire a chocolate binge, which I'm trying to avoid. For a multitude of reasons, #1 being that Valentine's Day is right around the corner... More on that when I feel like my life is not about to come to an end.

I AM NOT BEING DRAMATIC. AT ALL. BOOK OF REVELATIONS.

I bought the Criterion Collection edition of Altman's Short Cuts this afternoon, and that made me happy slash is keeping my sane right now.

That's all I can function to type right now. I need to go stress out about all the things I have to do tonight instead of actually doing them.

Now drinking: milk

Congratulations to The King's Speech for the big SAG win! I love when a tight, little cast gets onstage at the end of an awards show and can radiate so much with their giant smiles. Geoffrey Rush is a wonderful man... Who knows what will go down on Oscar night. Whew. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for The Social Network, but feel that it's losing some buzz machine steam. We. Shall. See.

I also don't understand how Boardwalk Empire is winning all of these television awards! It was so uneven! So pretty! But so uneven! Meanwhile, this season of Mad Men was flawless. Flawless. Sigh.

Speaking of flawless, check out Mila Kunis and January Jones on the SAG red carpet. Whew. The only two ladies of the evening who absolutely floored me. Everything was on point. Everything.

Currently eating: pineapple

Sundays are worthless. There should be another day in the weekend so I can properly rejuvenate my lifeforce while not building up overwhelming anxiety over the amount of reading and applications I should be doing at the same time.

This Monday will be manic. It is almost February. Excuse me.

Speaking of procrastination, the SAG Awards are on. And by "the SAG Awards," I mean the red carpet coverage on E!. Because it is only 6:30pm. Which is just as important as the actual show, obviously... Has anyone discovered why E! has that xclamation point? Because I'm always excited to watch? Please explain. Please.